Cloudy’s Poetry: Little Lies

These are lyrics that I just wrote. They are written as if my husband was saying it all.
There was a very dark year and the one year anniversary is slowly approaching.

I wreaked a whole hell of a lot of havoc this year when my personalities split and I did things that I’m not proud of now that I look back and see what I did and how I hurt my husband.

Even though it was my alter and I had no remorse at all when I was her, now I remember all of the damage and it breaks my heart when I think of what my husband endured.

This is for him. This is my apology for not considering his feelings during it all.

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Little Lies

Your secrets destroyed.
Your words left unsaid,
The lies that you told,
You left me for dead.

How could I trust in you?
How could I be so blind?
You’re standing there laughing,
As the knife cuts deep inside.

How could you
Just stand there
Smilin’ like it’s nothin’?

When my heart’s
Bleeding out,
Again and again.
This pain you’ve
Caused inside me;
I know it’s close
To the end.

You don’t understand.
You’re only a liar.
Your deceit and destruction;
And I’m still tryin’ to
Balance on your wire.

All that we’ve built,
All that we had;
All those broken promises,
It’s all shit to you now.

I’m falling down
Your stairs.
I’m swimming
In your lies.

You’re cryin’
That ‘You’re sorry’,
But still can’t
Look me in the eye.

When my heart’s
Bleeding out,
Again and again;
You keep twistin’ your
Little knife inside me.
When will it end?

You laugh in my face
With your sweet little lies.
When will I wake up
And see through your disguise?

Don’t you feel any guilt?
Don’t you feel any shame?
My questions go unanswered.
I don’t mean shit to you.

I’m drowning
In your quicksand.
I’m choking in your fire.
Our love has
Unraveled before me.
You’re just a wolf
Set to devour.

I’m standing on the ledge;
One push and I’m falling.
Nothin’ but lies;
I’m so sick of tryin’.

The words
From your mouth,
To me they’re
Filled with doubt.

Who can I trust
When you’re the
Only one for me?

Who can I call to
When you’re all
I’ve ever had?

Left me all alone;
It’s no big deal to you.

Left me all alone;
You do whatcha wanna do.

My hearts bleeding out,
Again and again.
This pain that flows
Inside me;
I feel this is the end.

Still after it’s all over,
Even after
You crushed my heart;
I can’t understand
Why are we apart.

When my heart’s
Bleeding out
Again and again;
You keep twistin’
Your knife inside me
But
I’ll still love you til the end.

-cc 4/21/14

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