Blah!!!!

I should’ve never gotten back out of my bed. I got up to eat and them talk to my husband for a little while and that ended with me running out of the kitchen in tears over something stupid.

It was about money. I hate when he jokes about him buying something for me instead of me buying it myself.

I don’t work. How the fuck am I going to buy something myself. He makes me feel bad when he buys something for me or if I ask for money for something. He makes it seem like I’m trying to pull teeth.

I would rather he call me a fat whore or stupid than to tease me about money. I hate it. I really absolutely hate it. I know when we have bad weeks but it still doesn’t give him the right to make me feel like I’m five years old and asking daddy for money.

I will stop smoking and stop asking if I can buy coffee or cokes and stop asking to put gas in my car if he keeps doing it.

I will stay in my room out of sight and drink faucet water or I’ll put my coffee maker back in my room.

It’s not right to make me feel like a child.

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9 thoughts on “Blah!!!!

  1. Stand up for yourself. Does he know how it makes you feel. Let him know to call you a fat whore and leave you the hell alone about the money situation. You don’t deserve to feel bad about this. And you certainly don’t have to feel like a child.

  2. I try to. I don’t think he ever takes me seriously. He thinks I’m being a baby when I get teary eyed and run off crying.
    I really don’t want him to call me a fat whore but I would definitely prefer him to tell me something about my binge eating probs instead of teasing me about money.

  3. Maybe you should say it really hurts your feelings when he teases you. But that’s all it is is just teasing. If he didn’t get a reaction he might not do it. But it’s 100% affective so he uses that tactic. Sorry about the fat whore thing I was trying to make a joke of it but I didn’t convey it properly.

  4. Yes, the joke I got. lol it’s okay. I try to tell him my feelings all the time and just when I think he gets it he goes and teases me about something else. He’s learning daily how to deal and cope with all of my mental problems, but I don’t like to joke anymore. I’ve lost that ability to be the brunt of a joke and I can’t regulate my tears and emotions anymore. He just doesn’t get it. It’s either black or white with me. I’ve lost my middle ground.

  5. He needs a kick in the balls. Maybe that will help a little. Maybe he needs to see it from my POV and pretend that the roles are reversed. I’m so sick of feeling less of an adult when it comes to money and the decision making in this house. Just yesterday I told him I want to paint the living room a brighter color because the sofa, carpet and walls are all basically the same color and we need to lighten up the room. I asked why he told me no and he said because he said no. What kind of answer is that between a husband and wife? I told him it’s my house too and he said it doesn’t matter. 😦

  6. Thats really rude. I can believe he said that. You should get a job and stick it to him.

  7. Yeah it is rude. I can’t work. I have fibromyalgia, schizophrenia, bipolar/depression. I spend my weeks at the doctors. I wish I could work again. I loved having my own money. Lost the last three great paying jobs that I had because of my mental problems. Sucks. I usually stay locked in my room away from him. I love him and love being with him but his mouth makes me cry and run.

  8. Maybe it’s time for you to let him have it and let him know everything, every emotion you feel. You need to feel better and start being happy again.

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