Day:13 Tripping and Falling

I started this day waking up just as the alarm went off. Then as I went into Mini’s room to grab his socks and pants I tripped over his hardwood bunk frame and landed on the floor. My entire leg from knee down is still hurting. Want to know the funny thing? I did this exact same thing yesterday so I should’ve known to be more careful today! Nope! Not me! So I’m sporting some nice deep purple bruises now. I just told him what I did and he says next time put the light on. This kid screams every time I put the light on before he wakes up so I don’t do it. It was sweet but weird.

I made some coffee this morning and texted with my mama and then went to sleep. I slept until 1pm. I also forgot to take my morning meds again this morning. I didn’t realize it until 2 something. So I took them super late. Now I’m sleepy again. I don’t know why all of a sudden I am forgetting. I was militant in taking them and now I just can’t remember for shit. Maybe I need to set another alarm on my phone. That’s probably my best bet.

I’m cooking eggs, bacon, and toast for dinner because I still haven’t gone to the grocery to get chicken stock for my gumbo. I guess I will go tomorrow or when I am out Thursday for my psych appointment. I’m just trying to cook things to use up all of these veggies we have left in the icebox. I figure we will use up some of the onions, mushrooms, and spinach tonight. That still leaves the celery and the rest of the veggies I have to use for the gumbo. I’m also in the mood to cook a stew or a roast. It doesn’t matter if it’s pork or beef. I think I have some country pork ribs that will do the trick. I will use up some carrots, celery, onions, and potatoes for that. Maybe tomorrow. Good thing I’m not hungry while I’m writing all of this or I would be going in the kitchen to pig out!! LOL I cooked the beef strips last night and just made a sandwich out of the leftovers about 30 minutes ago and it was so good! I guess I will start dinner at 5pm so it will be ready around the time hubs walks in the door.

It’s not a very cold day today. Compared to last week it’s very mild. Last week was coat and glove weather. This week is hoodie weather. But hubs has the windows opened and the cool breeze is getting to me right down to my bones. I have a short sleeve shirt on and I’m about to go find a hoodie to put on. This weather is crazy. 30’s one week and then 70’s the next? Mother Nature seems to be a bit Bipolar herself.

I find myself smoking more now that it is colder. I can put one out and light one right back up. That’s not good. I wish I could just sleep most of my day away so I wouldn’t smoke. And I will be honest. I really haven’t been using my vape much at all. It has a kickass flavor (strawberry mixed with banana pie filling) in it but I haven’t been grabbing it. Bad bad bad girl!! I need to try to do better with this. I’m supposed to be smoking less this year- not more.

I’m also feeling a bit bummed at my supposed best friend. I know I’ve written about this in the past. I wrote that one of my long time 20 year old friendship friends kinda left me in the dark and has all of these new friends and this new life. Well, still this is going on but I’m getting more upset about it when I see all of the photos she posts on Facebook of her and these friends all smiling and laughing and having fun. She never calls me. Never texts. Doesn’t respond to my texts. She comments on some of my Facebook posts with generic lol’s and likes statuses but that’s it. How do I deal with this? I’ve already tried to tell her how I feel TWICE and she didn’t respond. Do I just delete her from Facebook so it doesn’t hurt me as much? I think that’s the only thing I can do. :/

I also have another friend that isn’t as close to me as we were before. I think they are in a new crowd too. Whenever we start a convo on Facebook messenger they always seem to fall off the face of the earth and abruptly stop replying right in the middle of the convo. This friend and I had stopped talking back in May because of bullshit drama they dragged me into and we just started talking again in September or October but it is not the same. It’s like a casual acquaintance thing and I have so much to tell them and I can’t. I’m so sad because the only two friends that mattered to me aren’t here for me anymore. I’m lonely and I feel forgotten.

Now that I’m sad, I don’t want to write anymore.

Later,

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