A Little Bummed

I am a little stressed out and bummed. We didn’t have enough money back in December to pay our Property tax and we kinda forgot about it. Well, I had a note in my mailbox to pick up a Certified Letter so I went and picked that up yesterday. It was about the Property taxes. It was a notice stating if the tax wasn’t paid within 20 days from date of letter then the property was subjected to tax sale. Hubs got extremely pissy when I texted him about it and I told him don’t shoot the messenger. (The house is in his name-not mine. The money we have is his-not mine). So he’s aggravated that the little money that we have managed to save has to go to this and that most of his paycheck today as well goes to this. It’s not my fault. I don’t get a paycheck. I get child support and quite frankly I don’t believe that Mini’s child support should go to pay property taxes on a house. Correct me if I’m wrong. Yeah, he lives here too but he’s 9!! It’s not Jenn and Brandan support. It’s Mini support. 

So he threw a big ol fit when he got home saying he’s tired of working just to kill himself and put himself in an early grave. He’s tired of working just to live paycheck to paycheck and tads yada yada. I know what he was getting at. He was trying to make me feel bad because I don’t have a job. I know it. He did everything but say he needs some help and why don’t you get a job?  I know it’s coming soon and that’s what has me aggravated. He’s going to lay all of his problems on me. I don’t think that’s too fair to me. I can’t be given that responsibility. He knows I can’t work right now. I’ve already tried. Im too panicky and my pain is too much. Im not reliable at all and none of my past bosses will give me a good review at all anyway. That’s what I get for having mental problems. Thank mania for all of that! Thank you mania and anxiety!

So, he has me feeling like shit and he has me feeling lazy like I don’t do enough work around the house and I know that I don’t. I don’t have any desire to clean everything. I don’t really care. He’s lucky I swept the kitchen floor today and I took out food to cook (even though it’s still frozen). I could do a load of his uniforms but I don’t feel like it so I will wait until tomorrow. I don’t care what he says about it. I hardly even take showers so how can I get a job. Shit, most days I don’t even put a bra on or change my shirt. I only change my underwear and pants!! Im hopeless and a little (a lot) pathetic. 

I really want Starbucks right now and I can’t go get it because I have $3 in my checking account and I can’t use his account on account of the taxes needing to be paid. But that’s more of my whining. But who cares. This is my blog and I can do that. 

I guess that is all I have for now. Im just so annoyed and stressed out. I feel like sleeping forever. Im in a bad mood and somehow I forgot to take my meds last night so I have a major migraine. Screw it all right now. 

Later. 

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