Vroom Vroom

my hubs has a new motorcycle and I hate it!!  Now he has a way to just take off on the weekends and leave me at home bored. I don’t like it at all!  I don’t have any way to unwind. I take my drives but hubs says I waste too much gas and he’s not giving me money to keep filling it. So, my one way to relax has now been taken away from me but yet, he gets to take off whenever he wants to without any consequence. 

He left Saturday and was gone for three hours!  I was left at home without him and I didn’t have anything to do. Same thing on Sunday except he was gone for four hours!  And when he’s gone I can’t even get in touch with him because he can’t exactly text while on a bike. 

My psych said I need my own outlet. She asked what I do for fun and I honestly had to tell her not a damned thing. How pathetic is that?  I have no fun. I have no hobbies right now. I have no outlet to relax. She said I need to find something to do because I will be depressed about it if I never have an outlet to unwind and enjoy myself. And she’s right. I depend on my husband to keep me occupied at night and on the weekends. When he’s not here I’m lost and bored as can be. 

She asked if my hubs and I ever do anything together. NOPE!! We don’t go out. We don’t have date nights. I told her that we used to go out every other weekend or so to different bars to listen to our friends’ different bands. We don’t do it anymore. I asked to go out and he says NO!! He’s not into the bar scene anymore, he says. It’s not fair. I want to go out with him and relax and he won’t do anything with me. I’m dying inside because I have no outlet to get my frustrations out. She says I need to talk to him about my feelings over him having the bike and that I need to tell him I need him to take me out. I can’t!! My husband is not approachable. He won’t understand my frustrations. He won’t listen to me. He doesn’t listen to me. I tried to say something before about the bike and he jumped down my throat. He says that he had his bikes before (he had to sell them and had them before I got here) and that he’s been wanting one so he can have a hobby. He says that it’s his way to relieve stress. There’s no room for me now. He’s all about his bike now. It used to be me and him on the weekend sitting around together but now it’s me stuck at home with nowhere to go. I have Mini home and I can’t take him for a drive. He gets carsick. I’m stuck!  I’m alone!  I’m unhappy!  I can’t even get on the computer anymore since mine broke. I asked hubs if I can use his and he said he doesn’t want me on it because I broke mine. I didn’t break mine. It broke!  Now I’m still stuck. I’m just so screwed lately!!

I don’t know up from down lately. I just want to be happy!  I. Just. Want. To. Be. Happy. 


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